This post is the third in a series of posts called How Much to Tell and When: Disclosure in Early Recovery. This post discusses the tension between the initial and partial discovery of sexually compulsive behaviors and formal, full disclosure of those behaviors. Click here to read part 1 on spontaneous disclosure, here to read part 2 about formal therapeutic disclosure, and here to read part 4 on what a sex addict should tell his or her partner when asked about acting out.
Sometimes Christians talk about living in “the already and not yet.” While it’s not a perfect analogy, it captures well what it’s like in between the initial discovery and the formal disclosure for sex addicts and their partners.
“The already and not yet” is a way of referring to the idea that the culmination of time and history began in the birth, life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. Christians believe that Jesus brought in the kingdom of God in his ministry such that it’s presently among us, but that it will only be realized in its fullness when Jesus returns in the future.
So God’s rule in the kingdom is already present and partially realized, and it is not yet fully manifest. Christians call this present age “the already and the not yet” for this reason.
It can be an excruciating era to live in, as sex addicts in recovery and their partners know well.