Healing Archives - Page 3 of 3 - Awakenings Relational Counseling
Sex addiction treatment and porn addiction counseling, psychotherapy for trauma, relationship issues, and infidelity in Ventura, Pasadena, and Oxnard.
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Me & My (Fragmented) Self

Curiosity about the goings-on in my hometown of Holland, Michigan prompted me this morning to visit the website of the city’s newspaper, The Holland Sentinel. As a former paperboy for the Sentinel, I recalled slinging newspapers in the crisp cold of Holland’s winter streets bathed in the hushed light before dawn. As I scrolled through the headlines, I stumbled across Holland’s police log. My first perusal of its records for February 21-22, the most recent posting, showed little of interest. Animal complaint. General public assistance. Traffic. Motorist assist. A closer look was more troubling, however: destruction of property; larceny; miscellaneous crime; more larceny; fraud.

 

Sex, God, and Our Longing for Intimacy (Part 2)

Just as spirituality is an expression of our desire to experience an authentic, meaningful relationship with God, sexuality is the expression of our innate desire to connect with others and to know and be known intimately and completely. Certainly, in our closest, most satisfying non-sexual relationships, in knowing the other we discover more fully who we are.

 

For instance, a woman supports a recently divorced friend by meeting her at a coffeeshop for lunch, and her friend tearfully tells her that she has always been a calm, steady presence in her life. A groom exchanges a silent look with his best man that communicates the depth of his appreciation and love after many long years of faithful friendship. In such relationships, we encounter ourselves while encountering the other in unexpected and sometimes challenging ways that solitary self-reflection does not afford. However, even in these relationships, we, to quote the apostle Paul, “know only in part” (1 Cor 13:12), and we long to know and be known fully.

Why We Hurt

Conflict is inevitable in all of our relationships, and romantic relationships are no exception. Partners in intimate, long-term relationships will surely step on each other’s toes, thereby causing each other emotional pain. Couples need to able to repair painful rifts when they happen in ways that cultivate intimacy, vulnerability, and emotional safety. How might couples do this?

An Open Invitation

A few weeks ago, Peter Jackson’s “The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey,” the director’s latest cinematic venture into Middle Earth, was released into theaters nationwide. The film begins the story of the adventures and travels of Bilbo Baggins. Readers of JRR Tolkien’s book The Hobbit will remember that Bilbo is a hobbit who loved the comforts of home; indeed, he was, in Tolkien’s words, one who never “had any adventures or did anything unexpected.”

Our Feelings and Freud

I was recently joking around with one of my friends who knows that I’m a therapist intern. As we were exchanging wisecracks about I’ve-forgotten-what, he smiled and offered in jest a self-deprecating barb about one of his unique character traits: “Does that go back to my childhood?” In the moment, of course, I simply played along, but his comment lingered in my mind long after our verbal horseplay was over.