Your Need to Be Emotionally Intimate with Your Partner—And Your Need Not to Be

Have you ever wondered why people seek intimacy in relationships? What is it about emotional intimacy, anyway? Why is feeling connected with a deeply loved partner so much better than just about anything? As a marriage counselor, I know that partners in an intimate, committed, long-term relationship yearn to know and to be known by each other, and yet for so many couples, such intimacy is elusive. Why is cultivating this kind of connection so hard? Because as much as you want to be connected and close to your partner, intimacy is also profoundly frightening. To understand why, we need to consider our need for intimacy first.

Counseling After Infidelity: Cultivating Healing, Finding Hope

What is an affair? Must an affair involve sexual intercourse? What about a kiss? What about pornography? While almost everyone would feel betrayed if a partner had sexual intercourse with a third person, other amorous, intimate behaviors can be equally destructive—dinner with an old girlfriend, for instance, or flirting in online chat rooms. All of these behaviors may constitute a betrayal of trust. An affair is a violation of trust that destroys the fundamental beliefs that the hurt partner had about the unfaithful spouse and the relationship.

4 Ways to Care for Yourself After an Affair

If you’re like most people, when you hear the word “affair,” you probably think about it as an extramarital sexual relationship. Almost everyone would feel betrayed if a partner had sexual intercourse with a third person, but other amorous, intimate behaviors are often equally destructive––lunch with an old girlfriend, for instance, viewing online pornography, or flirting in online chat rooms. All of these behaviors may be violations of trust that destroy the fundamental beliefs that the hurt partner had about the unfaithful spouse and the relationship.

Eeyore on the Couch: Depression & How Therapy Can Help

A few months ago, I was surfing the vast wave of entertainment in my Netflix streaming application when I discovered a veritable gold mine of nostalgia: “Winnie the Pooh,” a 2011 film featuring many of my favorite childhood friends. In the long years since I had last seen them, I was delighted to find that Winnie the Pooh’s appetite for honey had not waned a bit, that Tigger was still nearly manic with unbound energy, and that Piglet was still occasionally conquering his fears despite being a “very small animal.”

An Open Invitation

A few weeks ago, Peter Jackson’s “The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey,” the director’s latest cinematic venture into Middle Earth, was released into theaters nationwide. The film begins the story of the adventures and travels of Bilbo Baggins. Readers of JRR Tolkien’s book The Hobbit will remember that Bilbo is a hobbit who loved the comforts of home; indeed, he was, in Tolkien’s words, one who never “had any adventures or did anything unexpected.”

On Finding Counseling in Pasadena

Therapy can increase self-awareness and strengthen emotional life while creating new ways of being in meaningful relationships. If you are trying to choose the therapist that is right for you, you probably believe that therapy can do this too. Therapy can be a life-changing experience, but finding a therapist that you trust is essential.