How to Change Beliefs to Form Better Habits (Part 2)

change beliefs

I believe I don’t like pineapple. That belief isn’t going to change.

Changing our habits can be challenging, and in part 1, we saw why. Whether it’s starting a new habit or ditching an old one, any changes we try make will quickly send us to a meet-n’-greet with the beliefs that are tied up with that habit.

 

Maybe you have trouble regularly checking your finances because we believe you’re not with money and there’s a lot of fear there for you. Maybe you’re afraid to start something new because you believe that you’ll fail. Maybe it’s been really tough to kick your pornography habit because you feel like you’re not good enough no matter what you do, and at least pornography makes you forget that for a while.

How to Change Beliefs to Form Better Habits (Part 1)

how to change beliefsAbout every month or so, I pick up a new business book from the local public library and dive in. I enjoy reading business books as I’ve found that it helps me with the business side of running a practice so that I can be my best for my clients. Recently, I picked up Your Best Year Ever by Michael Hyatt, a book about how to set and achieve goals in your life.

 

It caught my eye because I’ve been wanting to find time to cultivate new habits. With our family’s sometimes crazy schedule, I was having trouble making the changes I wanted to make. Every time I try to create a new habit, I stopped after a week or so.

How I’m Learning to Slow Down (and How You Can, Too)

learning to slow down

“Learning to slow down,” an image of a snail, a snail is slow… You get it.

Learning to slow down in our fast-paced society is so difficult, but lately I’ve been realizing just how important it really is. Some of the last few posts I’ve written in this blog have been less focused on tips, advice, and other forms of useful content that I’ve always felt a lot of pressure to produce.

Pros and Cons of Twelve-Step Programs

pros and cons of twelve-step programsWhat are the pro and cons of twelve-step programs? In the early 20th century, Bill Wilson founded Alcoholics Anonymous in an attempt to address and ultimately cure his confounding and baffling condition. The approach and philosophy of AA are based on medical insights, ancient spiritual traditions, and consultation with a handful of psychologists and more than a few alcoholics.

 

Today, AA and other 12-step programs are easily the most widely known and available support for addiction. Although AA is the original, many splinter groups have formed based on the same 12-step philosophy, including Narcotics Anonymous, Sex Addicts Anonymous, and Debtors Anonymous.

 

I’ve often referred clients to twelve-step groups if I think they’d be a good fit for such a group and if they’d likely find it helpful. But I’ve realized that AA and its variations aren’t for everyone. Here are some of my thoughts about the pros and cons of twelve-step programs to help you determine what’s right for you.

Batman, Superheroes, & God: Our Longing to Be Healed (Part 2)

There’s something very spiritual about superheroes, as we began to explore in part 1 of this two-part post. I wrote these about five years ago now but never published them; it was just after The Dark Knight Rises was released and the tragic shooting in Aurora, Colorado occurred, tragedy which sadly reminds us of our need to be healed. In part two, my geekiness really comes out, but in such a way that I hope speaks to this longing that I think we’ve all felt in one way or another.

Batman, Superheroes, & God: Our Longing to Be Healed (Part 1)

Recently I saw the official trailer for the new Avengers movie opening in May. Now, I’m a DC fan at heart, which means my heroes have always been Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, and the rest of the Justice League. (Yes, I was geeked at the release of the Justice League movie last year, if not somewhat disappointed.) Nevertheless, it was pretty awesome. If you missed it somehow, take a look-see below.

 

Research Describes 14 Qualities and Actions of an Effective Counselor (Part 3 of 2)

This is part 3 in a series of posts originally intended to be a two-part pageturner. You can check out part 1 here and part 2 here.

 

counselor with depressed manIt’s the middle of January, which is the most common month that people seek out counseling. Of course, many factors go into choosing a therapist—location, specialty, a perception that he or she can help with your concerns, fees and insurance, and so on.

 

It’s also been my guess in this series that you also are wondering how in the world to pick an effective counselor. There are online reviews but only sometimes, and therapist websites can only give us clues about a counselor’s competence.

 

It’s been my goal to help you pick a good counselor, one that you can know with a little more clarity if the help you’re getting is worth your time and investment. Ultimately, I do feel that there’s a ineffable quality of “fit” between a counselor and a client that makes therapy work, and that’s hard to write about.

Research Describes 14 Qualities and Actions of an Effective Counselor (Part 2 of 2)

woman in therapyIn case you missed it, in my last post I summarized some findings from the American Psychological Association about the characteristics of an effective counselor. You can check out the APA’s own write-up of the research here. According to the APA, an effective counselor has 14 key qualities that contribute to successful treatment. This time of year, when a lot of people are looking for counseling, these are great things to keep in mind when looking for help.

 

Of course, counseling seems simple on the face of it, but there’s actually a lot going on in your counselor’s mind in session, not to mention the ton of stuff going on in the relationship between you and your counselor. All that to say, great outcomes are the product of a host of variables in counseling, I don’t think it’s too far of a stretch to say that these therapist qualities make successful treatment more likely.